Firstly:
We think that your asking whether you are a hypocrite or not is a sign of much
goodness in you insha Allah, because when a Muslim fears that he may fall into
hypocrisy, this indicates that his heart is (spiritually) alive and that he is
keen to protect his faith. Ibraheem al-Taymi said: Whenever I examine my words
against my deeds, I fear that I am insincere. Al-Hasan al-Basri said of
hypocrisy: No one fears it but a believer, and no one feels safe from it but a
hypocrite.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The more faith and knowledge a person has, the more he will fear
that he may be among this class of people (i.e., hypocrites); hence the leaders
and earliest generations of this ummah were afraid that they might be among
them. ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) used to say to Hudhayfah (may Allah
be pleased with him): I adjure you by Allah, did the Messenger of Allah (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) mention me along with the people (i.e., the
hypocrites)? He said: No, but I would not praise anyone after you, meaning; I
would not praise people (by saying that they are not mentioned among the
hypocrites). It does not mean that ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) was
the only one who was free of hypocrisy.
Tareeq al-Hijratayn (p. 604)
The greatest of the awliya (close friends of Allah) feared this
for themselves.
1 – Ibn Abi Mulaykah said: I met thirty of the Companions of the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), all of whom feared being
hypocrites, and none of them ever said that he had faith equivalent to that of
Jibreel and Mikaa’eel (peace be upon them).
Al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The most prominent among the Sahabah (Companions) whom Ibn Abi
Mulaykah met were: ‘Aishah, her sister Asma, Umm Salamah, the four ‘Abd-Allahs,
Abu Hurayrah, ‘Uqbah ibn al-Harith and al-Miswar ibn Makhramah. These are among
those from whom he heard hadeeth. He also met more prominent Sahabah than
these, such as ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib and Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas, and he confirmed
that they were afraid of hypocrisy in their actions and nothing to the contrary
was narrated from any of the Sahabah, so it is as if there was consensus on
this matter. That is because the believers’ deeds may become contaminated with
elements that undermine ikhlas (sincerity towards Allah). The fact that they
feared it does not mean that they fell into it, rather it means that they were
extremely cautious and pious, may Allah be pleased with them.
Fath al-Bari by Ibn Hajar (1/110,111).
2 – al-Hafiz Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allah have mercy on him)
said:
Al-Ja’d Abu ‘Uthman said: I said to Abu Raj’ al-‘Attaridi: Did
you meet anyone whom I met of the Companions of the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) who feared falling into hypocrisy? He said:
Yes. Praise be to Allah. I met some of the prominent ones among them, and they
used to fear it a great deal. And he had met ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with
him).
3 – And he (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Among those of the Sahabah who used to seek refuge with Allah
from falling into hypocrisy were: Hudhayfah, Abu’l-Darda and Abu Ayyoob
al-Ansari (may Allah be pleased with them). Among the Tabi’een (Successors)
there were many who did that. Ibn Sireen said: There is nothing I fear more
than this verse (interpretation of the meaning): “And of mankind, there are
some (hypocrites) who say: ‘We believe in Allaah and the Last Day,’ while in
fact they believe not.” [al-Baqarah 2:8] Ayyoob said: Every verse in the Quran
which mentions hypocrisy I fear lest it apply to me. Mu’awiyah ibn Qurrah said:
‘Umar used to fear it, so how can I feel safe from it? Al-Hasan spoke a great
deal concerning this matter, as did the imams of Islam after them.
According to a report narrated by Ibn Hani, al-Imam Ahmad was
asked: What do you say about the one who does not fear hypocrisy for himself?
He said: Who can feel safe from hypocrisy?
Fath al-Bari by Ibn Rajab (1/178, 179).
Pay attention to two important matters:
1 – The hypocrisy that was feared by those imams among the
Sahabah and those who came after them was hypocrisy in deeds, which leads to
hypocrisy in the heart, which leads one to Hell – we seek refuge with Allah –
this is the kind of hypocrisy which is mentioned in a number of haadeeths (narrations)
which warn the Muslim against acquiring its characteristics, such as the
following:
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr (may Allah be pleased
with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) said: “There are four characteristics, whoever has them all is a pure
hypocrite, and whoever has one of them has one of the characteristics of
hypocrisy, until he gives it up: when he speaks he lies, when he makes a
covenant he betrays it, when he makes a promise he breaks it, and when he
disputes he resorts to obscene speech.”
Narrated by al-Bukhari (34) and Muslim (58).
It was also narrated (2632) by al-Tirmidhi (may Allah have mercy
on him) who said after it:
What this means according to the scholars is hypocrisy of
action. It was the hypocrisy of disbelieving at the time of the Messenger of
Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). Something similar was
narrated from al-Hasan al-Basri when he said: Hypocrisy is of two types:
hypocrisy of action and hypocrisy of disbelief.
End quote.
Al-Hafiz Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allah have mercy on him)
said:
This goes back to what we mentioned above: that hypocrisy may be
minor or major. Minor hypocrisy is hypocrisy of action, which is what these
people feared for themselves. It leads to major hypocrisy which is feared for
the one who is overcome by minor hypocrisy to such an extent that it robs him
of faith altogether, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“When they turned away (from the path of Allah), Allah turned
their hearts away (from the Right Path).”
[al-Saff 61:5]
“And We shall turn their hearts and their eyes away (from
guidance), as they refused to believe therein for the first time.”
[al-An’am 6:110]
Fath al-Bari by Ibn Rajab (1/179).
Al-Imam al-Nawawi commented on this hadeeth … See his Sharh
Muslim (2/46-48).
2 – These prominent figures were the most righteous of people in
heart, and they were those who most respected the sacred limits and were least
likely to transgress them, but because of their great awareness of their Lord
and their fear of His wrath, they would regard a minor sin – if they fell into
it – as a major sin. Some of them feared showing off, and others feared falling
short in their deeds lest their actions contradict their words. Others thought
that being distracted by permissible interactions in their homes with their wives
and families, even though they focused properly in gatherings of dhikr, was a
kind of hypocrisy.
It was narrated that Hanzalah al-Usaydi said: Abu Bakr met me
and said: How are you, O Hanzalah? I said: Hanzalah has become a hypocrite. He
said: Subhan Allah! What are you saying? I said: When we are with the Messenger
of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) he reminds us of the Fire
and the Garden until it is as if we are seeing them with our own eyes, but when
we depart from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him), we attend to our wives and children and businesses, and we forget a great
deal. Abu Bakr said: By Allah, we experience something similar. Abu Bakr and I
went and entered upon the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him), and I said: Hanzalah has become a hypocrite, O Messenger of Allah.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Why is
that?” I said: O Messenger of Allah, when we are with you, you remind us of the
Fire and the Garden until it is as if we are seeing them with our own eyes, but
when we depart from you, we attend to our wives and children and businesses,
and we forget a great deal. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, if you continued
as you are when you are with me, and continued to remember (Paradise and Hell),
the angels would shake hands with you in your homes and on the streets. But, O
Hanzalah, there is a time for this and a time for that,” (he said it) three
times.
Narrated by Muslim (2750).
Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to the words, “we attend to our wives and children
and businesses”,
Al-Harawi and others said: What this means is that we become
absorbed with them and get busy with them.
“Hanzalah has become a hypocrite” means: he was afraid
that he had become a hypocrite, because he felt the fear of Allah when he was
sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and that
was manifested in the way he focused on remembrance of Allah and thinking
of the Hereafter, but when he departed he became distracted by his wife
and children and earning a living in this world, and the basic meaning of
hypocrisy is showing the opposite of what one conceals of evil, so he was
afraid that he was a hypocrite because of that. But the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) told him that this was not hypocrisy, and that
they were not expected to be like that all the time. “There is a time for this
and a time for that.”
Sharh Muslim (17/66, 67)
Al-Hafiz Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allah have mercy on him)
said:
When it became clear to the Sahabah (may Allah be pleased with
them) that hypocrisy meant a difference between one’s inner thoughts and
outward appearance, some of them feared that if they lost the focus and
presence of mind they attained when they listened to reminders, after they
returned to worldly matters and were distracted by their families and children
and wealth, that this was hypocrisy, as was narrated in Saheeh Muslim from
Hanzalah al-Asadi … and he quoted the hadeeth –
Fath al-Bari by Ibn Rajab (1/111).
With regard to your situation, you have to fear more than those
pure awliya (close friends of Allah) among the Sahabah, Tabi’een and subsequent
generations did, because you are disobeying Allah by doing the secret habit and
by mistreating your parents. Your saying that you sometimes raise your voice
somewhat to your father will not excuse you from the warning of punishment. You
are forbidden to say even “uff” (a mild word of objection) to your parents, so
how about if you raise your voice and speak loudly to them? What you must do is
beware lest your sins lead you to a bad end.
Al-Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) gave a chapter heading
to the report he narrated from Ibraheem al-Taymi, Ibn Abi Mulaykah and al-Hasan
al-Basri – which we have quoted above – saying: Chapter on the believer’s fear
that his deeds may be cancelled out without him realizing.
And he ended this chapter by saying:
And there is fear for the one who persists in hypocrisy and sin
without repenting, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they
know.”
[Al ‘Imran 3:135]
End quote.
Al-Hafiz Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allah have mercy on him)
said:
What the words of al-Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) – And
there is fear for the one who persists in hypocrisy and sin without repenting,
because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “and do not persist in what
(wrong) they have done, while they know,” [Al ‘Imran 3:135]– mean is that if
one persists in sin and the various types of hypocrisy without repenting there
is the fear that the one who does this may be punished by having his faith
taken away altogether, so that he becomes a complete hypocrite and meets a bad
end – we seek refuge with Allah from that – as it is said that sin is the way
to kufr.
Fath al-Bari by Ibn Rajab (1/181).
Secondly:
We encourage you to continue softening your heart and weeping
when you hear the Quran, and listening to exhortations, and at the same time we
encourage you to repent from sinful actions and to refrain from doing the
secret habit, and to refrain from mistreating your parents. We encourage you to
hasten to apologize to them and to honour them and treat them kindly in word
and deed. Beware of continuing to sin without repenting, and remember that the
one who truly fears Allah is not the one who weeps and sheds tears, rather he
is the one who gives up something for which he fears he may be punished.
What we have quoted to you of warnings about this is sufficient,
insha Allah, to make you hasten to repent and turn to Allah.
And Allah knows best.
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